Why do chefs write menus? For me it is a work of development, comprising a balance between creativity, resourcefulness, display of skill, sensory stimulation involving all five physical senses, an appeasement to the profit margin & a focus on customer satisfaction. there are times however, when I wonder why we bother.
The whole operation of the professional kitchen spirals out from the menu. the ordering and selection of ingredients, staffing costs, labour time, preparation an service are all carefully (or should be) considered in the development & design of a menu, aside from the pleasure and sensory reception of the physical senses.
For many professional chefs the menu is the focus of dedicated application & passion within their lives. Case in point, i spend between forty and sixty hours per week at work, approximately 5 hours sleeping each day. Seven hours per week (or thereabouts) traveling to and from work, and have two days off per week (that is approximately fourty eight hours, give or take the ending and beginning of the next and previous shift). This leaves approximately sixteen hours per week (aside from my days off and sleeping time) at home (that's an average of about two to three hours per day). Approximately half of that time is spent on research & development regarding food, and menu.
Thus as you may have gathered a chef's life is pretty much that. Being a chef (as previously stated) this all spirals out from the menu. I have no gripe with that. I accept that my time is predominantly applied in servitude to the menu, its development & preparation, its operation & service and the embodiment of many hours (and sometimes days) of hard work.
My gripe is the lack of appreciation, the defiance and ignorance of the general public. Today we had a customer offer an insulting question (intentional or otherwise) to a member of staff. The dish, a stuffed, eight ounce chicken breast filled with apricot & brie, wrapped in parma ham, and served with a fondant potato & sauteed fine beans, and a white butter sauce (buerre blanc to you foodies). Priced at less than ten pounds (GBP), and clearly labelled on the menu as to tis composition and components on the menu.
They asked "Do I not get veg with it?"
My conclusions regarding this incident reached two possible junctures. Either the customer was extremely greedy (and i have no problems with that, we serve seasonal vegetables as a side order), and had no concept of how much a fair price for the dish should value. Or perhaps they have little or no appreciation for the application and hours of labour that have passed since the sparks of imagination and inspiration ignited the birth of that particular menu (we operate several). Or perhaps both.
My conclusion was indeed secured when they ordered chips as a side order. Clearly suffering from carbohydrate addiction, and the need to fulfill the cravings that they subject themselves to. The insult to the price of the dish also conveyed their greed in their desire for a "something for nothing" approach to life.
I often jest about customers writing their own menus. "Give them a pen and paper" I often joke. Yet the undertone is quite serious. My ideal situation involving this would be to arrange a day when customers can book an appointment with senior chefs such as myself. They can spend as long as they like in development of a menu tailored to their very likings and requirements. Consequently we will (according to our salaries) work out an hourly rate, then invoice them for the amount of time they spend with us. Would this be an adequate means of appeasement?
Walk into a department store, on any high street. Pick out an item that takes your liking, but upon point of sale ask for ti to be customised in some way. And complain about the price. "I love this kettle" say. "But im not entirely fond of the colour of the switch, and the cord is a bit too long, and its two centimeters taller than I expected". Can you alter it for me?
What would happen I wonder? Would your sales assistant call the designers and manufacturers in an attempt to alter your product? I very much doubt it. Unless of course, you were willing to foot the bill.
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